So, its not very often that I get excited about sitting in the back of a commercial airliner. Just by chance, I found the cheapest fare for a trip to San Francisco last weekend was on Virgin America. These guys are seriously not blowing it. 50 dollar first class upgrade at check in? Yes please. Even with the round trip upgrade it was cheaper than any of the other economy tickets I found. What else? Oh yeah, Cabin crews that are friendly kids my age, not cranky ass old women. Sweet, massaging seats, all you can drink gin ‘n tonics, food on demand at the touch of a button, in-flight internet, real power plugs for laptops, on demand movies, TV, Music, games. What the hell, the flight is only an hour how am I supposed to enjoy all this rad shit?

Dear Virgin America, expand your service fast so I never have to deal with United, Delta, JetBlue, Southwest or Frontier ever again.

This is what happens when Jesus loving meets keeping up with the Joneses in South Orange County… Everyone is always judging everyone else here. Everyone is always trying to be the biggest and the best. The reality of “The OC” is that it’s PRECISELY like all those shitty “Real (insert noun here) of OC” TV shows that are floating around on cable.

Let me set the scene. You’re driving down the street, and there’s this house and practically every inch of its yard is covered in blinking christmas lights. You chuckle a little bit and you’re like, alright… Then you look a little closer, there’s a big glowing sign that says “Tune your radio to 103.5 FM!” Uh, okay? You tune in the radio and you quickly realize that those lights aren’t blinking at random, they’re synched with the horrid christmas tunes that are now blasting out of your car stereo. Seriously crazy shit. Crazy enough that I actually stopped to video it.

So these guys win it, hands down, in true over the top, “hey everyone look at me!” OC style. Their love for Jesus and the Christmas Spirit is obviously greater than that of any of their other neighbors (based on the number of Yes on prop 8 signs stuck in all of the front lawns this past election, the neighborhood is FULL of Jesus lovers)

Or maybe they just like Christmas lights, I dunno. Whatever.

“What. The. Fuck. I don’t even know what to say, Platypus. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. You’re like some kind of anti-drug message, designed to make high people totally freak the fuck out. You are so weird, Platypus, that they don’t even have a universally agreed-upon word for the plural form of you. That’s because if you see two of these animals(?) together, the fabric of space and time will literally tear apart. Remind me to never close my eyes again, Platypus, you duck-billed asshole.”

To read more from a guy named Rob “telling cute animals what’s what” visit his site: Fuck you, Penguin.

I’m always one to give credit where credit is due; My friend Sarah sent me the link to that blog. and I’d also like to take a moment to apologize to her, personally, again… for thinking that she might like a point and shoot digital camera without all the adjustable bells and whistles. (that’s four out of 1000 apologies, or is that five now?)

Thanks for shitting all over my floor and throwing up when I was gone. I love you too.